Suffering

Recently, I reviewed Bishop Barron’s reflection on St. Francis with my men’s group.  Soon after my initial experience with God, St. Francis became my ideal saint to read and understand.  Bishop Barron presented Francis in the light of  being most like a radical Christian who wanted to follow Jesus completely.  One of the things we talked about in the last session was his complete acceptance of suffering.

In today’s world we humans have created ways to try to avoid suffering of about every sort, whether persecution like St. Francis or even physical suffering in our bodies.  Toward St. Francis end, he asked to experience the suffering in the flesh that Jesus suffered and was granted this in his body.  It is easier for us to pop a pill to ‘ease the pain’ or run to the doctor or hospital with just a common cold.  If we were truthful with ourselves and others, we would have to admit, we really don’t want any pain or suffering in our lives.  Yet, this is what was brought about in this world with the fall of humanity in the garden of Eden.  Sin entered into this world and brought death with it.  So now, all of us experience the sufferings of this world due to the consequences of sin.

As a child, I was very sick and during those years, there was one year where I was very sick the entire year.  I remember as my parents and the doctors tried to do what they could for me, but the suffering was almost too much for my young body to bear.  My lungs would be scared for life and I thought this would never leave me.  For most of my young life, even though I tried out for sports, I did not do well.  It was only when I made a decision to leave the home halfway through my senior year joining the military that I would see the challenges presented to me, start to bring healing to me.  Boot camp was rough, having entered with a fractured finger just before leaving.  Yet, God had other plans that would eventually lead me to himself in a personal relationship three years later.

During those first eight weeks, I realized that if I was to make it through, I would need to tough it out, even with my finger hurting so bad.  Going across the bars that turn, it was hard to grip them with this finger and when we ran, the burning in my lungs almost made me quit.  But somewhere inside, I had a sense I needed to keep going.  At the end during the Mills competition, I actually would have taken the top honor, but I had one point taken off for not going up one more tree before throwing my grenade  I was close enough and hit the target directly, but the person evaluating me stated they were looking for someone to go further, even though they told me my throw was incredible.  I left feeling I had accomplished something during that time and it gave me a good feeling, since my lungs no longer burned.

After going through my training for my specialty and arriving at my first duty assignment, I ran with our unit daily in the 90-100 degree weather everyday in Texas.  Within months, I started running on my own to better myself and one day, I started running eight miles seven days a week.  I would go on to run marathons in Europe and then back in the USA.  I also took up bicycling, swimming and working out with weights.  At 21, I was in the best shape of my life.

But those times still had challenges.  These bodies we were given are only bodies and they can still suffer.  I almost drowned twice in my life, went through the window of a truck as it cartwheeled and was thrown out having severed my bicep in my arm, became sick many times through the years with things the doctors could not figure out, losing taste, smell and actually understanding what woman go through with hot flashes.  Ladies, I do feel for you!

I bring this all up, thinking about St. Francis and his acceptance of suffering.  The sacred scriptures tell us in Colossians 1:24, “Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in the afflictions of Christ on behalf of his body, which is the church.”  St. Paul suffered much to bring the faith to others.  Yet, sickness, also shows us our need for Christ and his mercy.  In many times that I have been sick, Christ has drawn me very close to himself.  Sometimes, being prayed over, I have been healed of physical issues and even sickness.  Yet, I still have my ruptured bicep that continues to bring pain in my life.  As I get older, a friend who is ten years my senior reminds me that every 10 years of life, brings it own issues with these bodies.

St. Francis embraced all of the sufferings he endured, even looking forward to them, if they would bring him closer to God.  I still pray for that kind of understanding when I go through life suffering one way or another.  Physical issues are one thing, but if you have spent any time with others who suffer emotionally, mentally, physically or through some other means, you will realize that suffering is a part of this life.  We all still wish it would go away, but we will suffer at one time or another.

When I think of St. Francis, as he embraced his sufferings, especially in persecution, God continued to increase the relationship he had with God already, but also with others.  He would go on to meet with many people in from the least to the greatest and share God’s word with them.  He is still very much respected today in many cultures.  As you reflect upon this, I pray you might ask what your thoughts are around suffering and whether embracing them like St. Francis did, is drawing you closer to God.  God’s deepest desire is for all of us to come to him and live fully the life he wants for us.  It may mean that we never suffer and for others, it may mean a life of suffering.  No matter what he has called you to, his love and mercy are there for us in all the situations we find ourselves in.  May his mercy bring healing to your soul, spirit and body.